Starting Out: First Sibling Interactions!

I thought I'd throw in another video from the good old days!! Watching this brought back lots of memories from the beginnings of our non-native bilingual parenting adventures. I remember that when the kids were first born, that it was hard to speak to them in German. It felt unnatural. However, as we persisted, it became more and more normal. This video is taken when Ben is two years old and just starting to talk. It's fun to see that he is talking to his little siblings in German even though they can't even speak yet. One of my favorite parts of our non-native bilingual adventure has been watching my children interact with each other in German. And one of the reasons, I love this video, is because it shows one of the first times the Ben is really talking to his siblings in German. Plus, I thought it was pretty cute that as he was trying to take off his shirt, he decided to leave it on his head and pretend to be a doggy. 

Karl and I tried hard to speak only German to the kids when they were little. We did not always succeed, but by starting when they were super small, we were able to establish German as "our" language. In time, we became very comfortable speaking German to the kids. Those who are native Germans will be able to tell that our German is not perfect. But, we decided to persist...even with our imperfect German. I decided early on that an imperfect second language would be better than no second language at all! :)

Then (above) and now (below)!

Redefining the "Baby Language" and Allowing Kids to Grow Up

So, we have had an interesting language set-up in our house for the past decade: When the three youngest children joined our family, the older children and my husband and I decided to only speak German to them, so that they younger ones would learn German just like the older ones did. However, at that point in our family, the older kids were mostly speaking English to each other and to us. My husband and I have always spoken English to each other and by the time the older kids were teens, we spoke mostly English to them. But, even though we spoke English to each other, all of us were very diligent about always addressing the younger children in German. And the younger kids only spoke German to us and to each other.

This was the language situation in our home for at least 8 years. However, recently, the younger ones have been speaking more and more English. At first, it was only with each other, because they knew that if they addressed me in English that I would ask them to switch to German and that I would only answer in German. The older kids also tried to continue to speak in German to them, but it has been more and more difficult.

Recently, I had an insight as to one of the reasons why the little ones are no longer speaking as much German (the minority langue) to us. I think it has to do with getting older and wanting to be one of the "big" kids. Their whole life, they have observed their older siblings (who are their favorite people in the world) speaking English to each other.
They adore their big sisters and brothers. And all this time, they have noticed that the big kids speak English to each other, but German to them. This used to be fine, but now the little kids are getting old enough to want to be a part of the "big-kid-club". I think they see German as the baby language and they no longer want to be considered "the babies." They want to join in the English conversations that the older siblings each other as equals. They want to feel like they are old enough to be addressed in English!

So, that said, what can I do to help encourage them to keep up with their German? Well, I'm still trying to figure that out. This summer, we had some of our young adult kids home from college, so the little kids were constantly around them and they were always wanting to speak English to them. However, just a few weeks ago, we sent the last of our "big kids" off to college (see picture). So, now, it's just my husband and me and our three little kids. With the older kids gone, there isn't as much social pressure to speak English. I'm hoping that we can continue to have times when we speak more German.

I've been thinking about this new language development in our family. And I think it's only fair, now that the little kids are older, that we come up with a system that doesn't make them feel inferior or not included. So, perhaps, when the college kids come home, we can try to ALL either speak German or All speak English. As far as that goes, maybe I can try to speak German to my husband more often, too. Our former system served us well for the many years, but now we need to reevaluate our bilingual goals and come up with a system or language routine that will continue to foster growth, language, and family unity. I still don't know exactly what that looks like, but I do know that we want everyone to continue to learn and love our target language as well as feel connected to each other, because, really, that's what non-native bilingual parenting is all about!!

How it all began...with Baby Ben!

I came across this little snippet from almost 25 years ago. It reminded me how far we've come in the last 25 years. I remember having no idea if our little German experiment would work. Ben was our first child. We were college students at the time and dirt poor and so we only owned a handful of German books. But we read them a lot. We loved the picture dictionary books. The book that I'm reading to him in the video really helped us all to improve our German vocab.

My little Baby Ben is turning 25 this year and he is still fluent in German. When he calls home, he talks to his little siblings in German. In this video, he is saying some of his first German words. It was fun for me to find this video of my sweet little baby Ben and to remember our early years of non-native bilingual parenting. During these years, we were still very unsure of ourselves. We weren't sure if we were going to mess up our kids or if we'd succeed. But I still remember the thrill of hearing Ben respond to us in German. It was so exciting for us.

The following video is only a year later, and Ben's vocab and his ability to communicate have increased tremendously. By this age, he spoke almost exclusively German to us. The whole non-native bilingual parenting thing was still so new. Each day, we seemed to be forging into unknown territory. It's interesting how much easier and more comfortable we got as more and more kids came along. It just makes me so grateful that we stuck with it and continued, even when we weren't 100% sure of the outcome. And, it's just so fun to look back and see the beginning stages of our non-native bilingual experiment!!

Long Distance Target Language Relationships

With half the kids grown up and moved out, it always makes me so happy when I see the older kids interacting with their siblings who are still at home via phone, skype, and text--especially when that interaction is in our target language: German. This afternoon, I caught Simon on the phone with his older sisters Kiana and Michaela. One of the reasons I recorded the conversation is because I thought it was interesting how the older kids still speak only German to their younger siblings. Yes, English often creeps into the conversation (as it did in this recording), but usually the kids return to German.
I feel like we're at the point of maintaining our German to the best of our ability. The little kids have switched to speaking more English with each other, but they definitely still communicate in German as well. The older kids almost always speak only German to the little ones and the little ones respond in German. Because the younger kids have always only spoken German to their older siblings, it's much easier to maintain the target language in that relationship. I know that, eventually, they will switch to English. But for now, I'm grateful that they are willing to continue speaking German to each other. It's great practice for the older kids as well as the younger ones!

It's not about perfection! Bilingual Parenting Goals for the New Year!

I try to have an honest blog. Raising kids is not easy. And raising kids in a language which you do not speak natively can be downright hard at times. But I know it can be done. I'm not the perfect example of non-native bilingual parenting. I know there are plenty of families who do a much better job than we have done. But neither we, nor any other family, is going to do it perfectly. Each family has their own struggles, their own unique personalities, their own histories, and their own situations. No one is going to have a perfect family and no one is going to do a perfect job of raising bilingual kids. It's just not possible.

But, we can all do our best--whatever that is. It's January...a time to evaluate and set goals. I have plenty of goals swimming around in my head. Many of these goals relate to our non-native bilingual parenting attempt. January is a good time to think about how far we've come and where we want to go. I'm grateful that we have made the German language a part of our family identity. I'm often amazed that I have 8 kids who all understand and speak German (even if they don't do so perfectly). This week, I've been thinking about my goals in all areas of my life. There's a lot I would like to accomplish this year. Many of these goals are much more important than my children's foreign language development (for example, my family's spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being). But our bilingualism IS still very important to me me. If it weren't, we wouldn't have 8 bilingual kids. And it's important to have goals. Without some sort of goal, we don't have any direction. So that said, here are some of my non-native bilingual parenting goals this year:

1. Continue to talk German to my kids, even when they speak English to me.
2. Continue to do our German school once a week (where we learn to read and write in German)
3. Continue to read German chapter books to the kids every night.
4. Have the kids read from German books every day.
5. Continue to expose them to French (have a French lesson at least each week)

In addition, I want to make sure that the kids have fun and continue to value their ability to speak two languages. Rather than force the kids to learn against their will, I want to take each of their unique personalities and characteristics and find a way to help each of them reach their own potential. 

Speaking of funny personalities, here's a cute video of my attempt to take a picture of my three youngest in their Christmas jammies. You can probably guess which one requires extra patience and a more active approach to learning....love these kiddos!

Good luck to all of you and your non-native bilingual parenting goals in 2017!!!

As you can see, we're still speaking mostly German to the kids.

Video translation: Just me and my husband encouraging the kids to stand still for 1 second so we can take a single picture :).

Bilingual Success? Yes, but imperfect and still a work in progress!

Now, let me just say that I never had a bilingual goal of raising children who speak perfect German. That would be quite unrealistic, since neither my husband nor I speak perfect German. The most we could hope for would be children who could speak our own level of German. But, even that would be asking a lot, since I actually lived in Germany for some time and studied it in college...and they never have. So, what were/are our goals and did we meet them?

Our goals were to give them the German language and culture. Personally, I wanted my children to be able to identify with my idyllic childhood in which I spent 5 years living on a German Bauernhof (farm) in Bavaria. I wanted them to love the German Christmas traditions. I wanted them to grow up knowing that the world was bigger than their backyard and to understand that there are different ways of doing things, different ways of thinking and different ways of speaking and that they are all good. I knew that their German would be imperfect. I knew that they would make grammar mistakes (many of which they would learn from me), but I also knew that I'd rather give them my imperfect German and everything that goes with that, than not give them any German at all.

Now, having already done the "bilingual parenting thing" once, I actually have set my sites just slightly higher for this second batch of kids. I am hoping to help the younger children reach a higher level of German literacy than we reached with the older children. I would like to actually teach them formal grammar and help them learn how to read and write in German.

So, have we been successful? According to my own definition: YES. Our older children, who have already been raised can actually speak German. They can understand almost anything. They can express ideas and make themselves understood. They each have different levels of German. Some of them are naturally more gifted in language than others. Their pronunciation ranges from decent to quite good. Their German is far from perfect. They make grammatical mistakes all the time. If they were to take German in college, they would struggle with the grammar, but they would be able to out-speak and out-comprehend many of their classmates. And I feel certain, that they would be able to learn the grammar quickly, given the opportunity. They will probably have to "unlearn" some incorrect things that they learned in our home, but that's OK.

So, if success is defined by having perfectly bilingual children who speak both languages equally well and native-like, then, no, we haven't been successful. But if success is defined as setting and reaching goals and giving your children a wonderful gift of culture and language that will forever be a part of them, then, YES, we have been successful. In fact, the first time around was so amazing and successful, that we decided to do the whole thing again. And if that's not a sign of success, then I don't know what is.

Finding Friends that speak the Target Language!

We stumbled across the sweetest family a few months ago. Both the mom and dad are from Germany and they have two darling kids. We invited them over at Christmas time for our annual Adventsingen and it was so fun to see my little Clarissa hit it off so well with their daughter, Zoey. Clarissa is always thrilled to have a girl to play with...since she is constantly surrounded by her two brothers.  And, the fact that this little girl speaks German, makes it even more special.


Just last week, we had our new German friends over again for a little Easter Egg hunt. All the kids were very eager for the hunt to start. Although my boys were a lot older than little Jon, they still helped him find some eggs. The kids loved hunting for their eggs and also seeing all of the animals.

Once again, the girls played so well together...and spoke only German! They boys spoke German to Zoey, too.  My kids have had very few interactions with other German speaking children. In fact, we only know of two families in our area where where the kids actually speak German. But this is the only family where both parents are actually German and where German is the primary language spoken in the home. It was fun to watch my kids interact with Zoey and little Jon and see them use their German language with someone besides each other.

In the video below, Clarissa and Zoey are sitting at the counter eating their Easter eggs and talking about the fun day they've had.

It's important for the kids to see that other children also speak German. I think that they sometimes get the feeling that they are the only German speaking kids around. Also, when they interact with other kids in the target language, they pick up more natural "kid language." But the best part of all of this, is just finding a new friend!

Thoughts on Raising Children in a Non-Native (and therefore imperfect) Language

There are regular bilingual parenting issues and then there are non-native bilingual parenting issues. Those of us who are attempting to raise our children in a language which we do not speak natively will naturally have additional questions, fears and feelings of inadequacy. One of the most common fears, and one that I remember facing when I first started out on our bilingual parenting journey, comes from our imperfect knowledge of the target language. And, no wonder! How can we even think of teaching our children a language which we ourselves haven’t yet mastered perfectly?  It’s a valid concern and it’s one that many parents, who wish to raise children in a foreign language, share. It may seem like an insurmountable barrier to some. 

So often we think that we have to be an expert at something before we can teach that skill to others. But that is just not the case! Just think about real life. If I want to teach my child manners, do I need to have a certificate from a leading etiquette school? Or can I assume that I know enough about manners to teach my children the basics. Granted, I may even teach my children some incorrect manners. For instance, I may teach them to use the salad fork when they should have used the dessert fork…BUT should I let my imperfect knowledge of manners stop me from teaching any manners at all? Of course not. Won’t my children be far better off by learning a few manners, even if some of them might not be exactly perfect, than if I threw in the towel and decided to just not teach them any manners? This same reasoning can be made for most skills and habits that we teach our children. I may want to teach my children to do housework. Does that mean that I need to be perfect at keeping my house clean? Do I need to know all the ins and outs of custodial cleanliness? Or can I suffice with just teaching them what I know? One amazing fact remains when it comes to raising children. Not only can I teach my children something that I know, but I can even help them to become better at something than I am. With the right training, my children can develop even better manners and be even better housekeepers than myself. Yes, of course, we should teach by example. But once our children surpass us, we can still help them learn things, even things that are outside of our own ability. We do this through our encouragement, our efforts in making sure they have the right materials and our finding and placing experts in their path. The bottom line is that you absolutely do not have to be the expert in everything that you teach your children. 

How wonderful that parenting usually starts out with a small, helpless infant, whose knowledge of the world is extremely limited. Surely, we know a little more about the world than our tiny little baby. And that should give any parent a little boost of confidence. The main factor to remember is that we don’t need to have a perfect knowledge of something, we just need to know a little more than the person we are teaching and as that person learns, it’s up to us to learn right along with them and to be the wind beneath their wings. 

Yes, I make LOTS of mistakes in German. And, yes, my children also make LOTS of mistakes in German. But, not once have my kids chastised me for attempting to teach them a language that I didn't speak perfectly. On the contrary! Rather, every single one of my eight beautiful children continues to express gratitude for their ability to speak German, even if that German is flawed and imperfect. My motto has always been: An imperfect second language is better than no second language!

My sweet missionary daughter and her companion, at a Christmas market near Frankfurt.
 Even though I taught her imperfect German,she has still been able to communicate just fine--from the minute she arrived.
In fact, she is often mistaken for a native German.  She'll be the first to admit that an imperfect second language is better than none at all. 

Starting Early is Key!

We always tend drift towards the language that comes more naturally and feels most comfortable. Because of this, it’s crucial establish your target language as early as possible.

It’s hard to imagine that speaking your foreign language will ever feel comfortable, but it definitely can. Be patient.

The concept of starting early actually benefits the parent more than the child. It’s all about establishing habits. By speaking to your newborn in the target language, you are training yourself and familiarizing yourself with the language. It can feel strange to speak to a 3 month old baby in a foreign language, especially, since that baby does not understand what you are saying and is not able to respond. But, by using the target language, you are establishing a relationship in that particular language. The more you use the language when talking and interacting with your baby, the more comfortable you will start to feel in the target language. And by the time your baby reaches the age where he or she can understand and even respond to your words, your new language will feel quite natural. In fact, it will soon feel so comfortable, that the thought of speaking your native language to your child will feel awkward and uncomfortable.

I remember being astounded by this concept with own children. How could speaking my own native language to my children feel uncomfortable? And how did my non-native language become the more natural and familiar mode of communication? It was at this point, that I realized that we had succeeded in truly implementing our target language. Speaking the target language was no longer something on our long list of things we were trying to accomplish. It was just the way we did things. Once we got the ball rolling, we didn’t really even think about it.  Speaking German was how we rolled. It was and is our normal way of communicating. 

The sooner you establish your target language as the “natural” mode of communication, the better. The longer you wait, the harder it will get. This is because relationships are partly defined by language. The language you use in a particular relationship become a powerful habit. To change that language habit takes extra work. For instance, if you’ve been speaking your native language with your daughter until age 5 and then you try to get her to switch to a different language, she will probably resist. Even if she wants to learn the target language, it will require so much effort and feel so strange that she will likely give up and resort to the easier language. That’s why it’s so important to start early. Establishing your target language as the “normal” mode of communication from the get-go is way easier than trying to switch languages later on. Kids (and adults) don’t want to think about language. It’s a tool used to communicate. We don’t want to think about our tools, we just want to use the one that gets the job done with the least amount of effort. This is the reason we tend to always revert to the language that feels more natural. To do anything else requires extra work and effort. 

Introducing Maria...The Joys of Having a Native German Speaker in Our Home

I haven't blogged for a while. Sometimes, life is just so full of experiences that you just have to live them and enjoy them and there just isn't time to sit down at your computer and write a blog post. End of May and beginning of June are busy, event-filled weeks around our home. We've been busy with track meets, high school graduation, open-house, yard work, many fun family outings, mission calls, and so much more. And all this activity just hasn't left much time for blogging.
But all that said, I've been itching to blog about our special visitor from Germany. Her name is Maria. Her mother is a friend of mine, who contacted me a while back asking me if her daughter could stay with us for a month. So, after working out all the logistics, Maria arrived on May 22nd. We have been absolutely delighted to have her in our home. She hit it off with the kids right away! It was amazing to see how quickly the three little ones just fell in love with her. The very first day she was in our home, she developed a special bond with the three little kids...like she was their long, lost sister. She constantly reads them books, plays games (tag, board games, tickle games, etc) with them, and just hangs out with them. She also immediately bonded with the older kids. It's been fun to hear Maria and the girls giggling and laughing up in their room. They get along great and have had so much fun together. It's been amazing to see how seamlessly Maria has integrated into our family. She's probably been one of the easiest house guests we've ever had. She's sweet, gracious, obliging, considerate and helpful and a delight to have in our home.
Because Maria would like to improve her English while she's here in the states, I am trying to always speak English to her. I do slip sometimes and we fall back into German. But most of the time we communicate in English. However, she and the little ones always speak German to each other. So, basically, Maria is following our family's language habits: English among big people and German to little people. And the little people continue to speak German among themselves.
Language Help:
Maria has been a great help when it comes to correcting several of our ingrained German errors. Over the years we have come up with a few expressions and words which are not quite correct...and I am very aware of this. Because we are isolated from native German speakers and because none of us are actually "native born" German speakers, we have developed some incorrect language habits over the years. For example, if someone is silly, we might refer to them as "komisch". However, Maria pointed out that "komisch" has a much more negative connotation and suggested we use "lustig". She also (very sweetly) points out little errors that the kids are making. For example, they often get "wissen" (to know) and "kennen" (to be acquainted with) mixed up. They often say "Weisst du diese Frau?" (do you know (as in know about) this lady) instead of "Kennst du diese Frau?" (are you acquainted with this lady). These are mistakes that I am aware of and could easily correct, but sometimes I just don't make the effort. Also, I've noticed that when Maria corrects their German, they are much more enthusiastic about learning correct German, because "Maria weiss Alles!" (Maria knows everything).
We're sad that we only have a few days left before Maria leaves. It certainly has been a fun experience having her in our home. She has helped us all speak better German and, hopefully, we've been able to help her improve her English. But most of all, we're grateful to have forged a wonderful and lasting friendship. We will miss our Maria when she leaves.

Maria has her first piece of pie.

Maria experiences Dallin's high school graduation.

Maria and the twins hang out in the hammock. Clarissa loves to just sit and talk with Maria.

Maria is a great book reader. 

We take Maria on all our family excursions (including the beach).

French Fridays: Je mange une pomme! Fun with Little Pim!

For the past several months, my little kids have been doing half public school and half homeschool--meaning that I pull them out of public school two days a week so that we can work on our German and French. My goal in German is to have them reading and writing at approximately the same level in German as they are in English. This isn't really that hard, since they're using basically the same "reading skills" in both English and German. It just takes time...time which we can never find after they've spent a whole day at school. My goal for French is much simpler. Since my French is pretty limited, I basically just want to expose them to as much French as possible while they are young. Why French? Because it's the only other language I'm familiar with (I took a few semesters in college) and also because my husband also speaks some French. And why do I want to even teach them a third language? Well, I guess it's because they are at a great age to soak up languages. Being bilingual already, they totally understand the concept of "language". They understand that there are many different ways to express an idea. They are fascinated with foreign languages. They light up when they hear someone speaking Spanish at the store. They immediately recognize it as Spanish and start rattling off the five Spanish words they know in an effort to prove to me that they can speak Spanish. So, why not expose them to French right now? They're interested and they're primed to learn.
I have a French curriculum that I've been using. It's called La Petite Pierre. It's a French curriculum for German elementary students. But recently, I checked out the Little Pim DVDs from the library to supplement our French lesson on food. The Little Pim videos are very simple and repetitive. I really like them because they not only introduce and review vocabulary, but also help teach how to put that vocabulary into simple sentences so that the kids can actually use the new vocab.
Below, you can see my twins watching and interacting with the Little Pim video.  I've put out some food and drinks to help them practice some of the vocab. My goal is to get them to not only listen and watch the DVD, but also for them to produce language themselves. It's fun to see their little brains working so hard as they process the language. Although, they can only say a few things in French, they are under the impression that they can speak quite well. If you asked them what languages they speak, they would say German and French. They are quite proud of the fact that they have learned (some) French. And I'm thrilled that they are learning and enjoying languages.

New Featured Non-Native Bilingual Family!

In an effort to try and connect the many families who are raising children in a language that is non-native to the parents, we are featuring some of these families on our new website:

Bringing Up Bilingual Babies

Enriching the Lives of Children and Families through

Non-Native Bilingual Parenting

This month's featured family consists of Tamara, Geoff and their daughter Kaya. They are very familiar to most non-native bilingual bloggers since Tamara has been blogging her non-native bilingual journey for many years now. Tamara and Geoff are both native English speakers residing in the United States. Tamara is successfully raising their daughter in her non-native German.

Tamara was kind enough to share some of her experiences and advice in an article that we recently posted. I loved her last piece of advice, which basically was to worry less and enjoy more. I think that is one of the best gems of wisdom that could be passed on to any parent who is
embarking on the journey of non-native bilingual parenting.

Read Tamara's article: Tamara and Geoff

Link to Tamara's Blog: Non-Native Bilingualism

It has been so enjoyable for me to learn about other families who are also raising their children in a foreign language. I love seeing the similarities. So many of us have worried, stressed and fretted about similar situations and have enjoyed the same feelings of success as our children have blossomed and have grown to love and understand another culture, language and people.

Calling All Non-Native Bilingual Parents!

For the past few months, I have been thinking about how grateful I am for our bilingual blessings. I love that my kids can communicate in both German and English. I love that they have embraced the German culture as their own. I love that they are so proud of the fact that they can speak German. I love that they are learning a little French and I especially love their excitement when they hear a French word and exclaim: He, das ist Franzoesisch!! (Hey, that's French). I just love how they are so aware of language and culture. And I love how those languages and cultures have enriched our family, opened our minds and hearts and given us a unique and fun identity.

That being said, I was thinking about the many, many people who speak foreign languages but who have not passed that language on their children...maybe they didn't think it was possible, maybe the thought had just never even crossed their minds or maybe they were afraid that it would harm their kids. Whatever the reason, I really think that many more people would seriously consider embarking on a non-native bilingual adventure if they only understood just how do-able it actually is and that you don't have to speak a language perfectly to pass it on to your children. Because, in the end, some second language exposure is better than none at all.

Well, this brings me to my latest project. This project has two parts: The first is two provide a web presence that is dedicated to non-native bilingual parenting and which will provide information, resources and motivation for families who are interested in raising bilingual children in a non-native language. The second is to somehow connect the many non-native bilingual parents throughout the world. I think of how much I would have appreciated some guidance and reassurance back when we were starting this whole bilingual adventure. I would love to feature some of these amazing families as well as some of their informative blog posts and articles.

So, if you're reading this post, please check out the new Non-Native Bilingual Parenting website. Tell me what you think. Let me know what's missing or what should be changed. This website is for all of you!! If you want something posted on it, let me know. If you want me to add some links, let me know. If you have a great blog post that you would like to repost on this site, let me know. I would love to collect our shared experience and lessons learned into one place. My goal is to provide a place that links all of us together because I believe that our group is a unique and special family.

Thanks,
Nina

Grab our button and let others know that you're proud to be a Non-Native Bilingual Parent!

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Bilingualism Blesses our Christmas!

What a wonderful Christmas we had! Today, the kids are back in school and the Christmas decorations are being put away. I didn't blog at all over the holidays, because Christmas time is family time in our home. My husband always takes at least half of his vacation time at Christmas. He loves it because there are no projects, no trips, no business...just lots of time at home with family. And we had a marvelous time together!! Our college girl was home, we got to talk to our missionary kids on Skype and I spent minimal time at stores (thank you Amazon) and though I didn't blog over the holidays, I still thought a lot about how much our family has been blessed by our decision to to raise our children bilingually. I can't even begin to imagine Christmas without all of our German traditions. I have such fond memories of the few Christmases that I spent in Germany as a child. These memories include basking in the glow of a real pine tree lit with real candles, Beautiful Bavarian Zither music, a visit from St. Nikolaus and Knecht Ruprecht on December 6th, Advent wreathes, magical Christmas markets full of intricately carved wooden Nativity figurines and lots of Lebkuchen and other amazing German Christmas foods, and, of course, the beautiful German Christmas songs.

My first Christmas in Germany (I'm the girl on the far left):
Singing German Christmas carols on Christmas Eve with dear
friends in their "Stube" with a "Kachelofen" (tile oven) and a
tree lit with real candles. 

In fact, my fond memories of Christmas in Germany is one of the reasons why I wanted to raise my children German speaking in the first place. I wanted to share the beauty of a German Christmas with my children. And in order to truly share that experience with them, they needed to know German. Of course, it's possible to teach people about a cultural holiday without them knowing the language, but their experience and understanding of that holiday is going to be severely limited. To truly "feel" a German Christmas, you need to understand German language. Without the language, you don't understand the songs, the poems, or even the people and the culture. It's the language that brings a richness and a beauty to the celebration.

We have some German speaking friends sing in our
"Kinderchor" during our annual Adventsingen.

So, this year, as well as in all our past Christmases, we have incorporated many, many German Christmas traditions. We always start the season off by celebrating the 1st Advent. There's nothing like lighting that first of four candles on the Advent wreath to start building anticipation. And then comes St. Nikolaus Day on December 6th. My kids have wondered why St. Nikolaus doesn't visit their friends. I think it's because he only comes to those kids who speak German at home! We also always have an Adventsingen right before Christmas. We invite friends from Germany and friends who love Germany into our home and we spend the evening singing lots and lots of German Christmas carols. It's really the only time each year when our home is filled with German speakers (besides our own family). And this year, I was tickled pink, to see my little Clarissa make friends with another little girl. They ran around the house speaking German to each other. It was the cutest thing. She has never really spoken German with any other kids besides her siblings. Of course, all of the anticipation culminates with Christmas Eve! It's a special day for us as we focus on the birth of the Savior. The kids always act out the nativity and then we do our first round of presents (saving the American Santa gifts for Christmas morning--American style). We've blended many of our American traditions with our German traditions and the result has been a culturally rich and meaningful Christmas season.

Jonathan and Clarissa so excited that there are only 2 more
Sundays left until Christmas! Happy 2nd Advent!

Words can't even express how grateful I am for the opportunity to share German Christmas traditions with my own children. I love seeing their eyes sparkle when we light the Advent candles. I love that I can share my most precious childhood Christmas memories with my children even though we live in the United States. I love that they have a deep understanding of how Christmas is celebrated in another country. I love that they have learned to absolutely love and cherish and "own" these wonderful German traditions. It's been so fun hearing my older kids talk about how much they appreciate the fact that we have kept up with each of the traditions over the years. Raising our kids in our non-native German has indeed opened many doors and provided many opportunities for the kids, but I think it's at Christmastime when I realize just how much our family's bilingualism has touched our hearts and souls. Fröhliche, fröhliche Weihnachten, everyone!!

The Read-Aloud Handbook: A Game Changer

A week ago, a very dear friend handed me a gift at church. It turned out to be a book that I had overheard her talking about in previous conversations. It was The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. This friend is an avid reader (one of the most avid readers I know) and I was a little surprised when she told me that this book inspired her to read to her kids even more. So, the minute I had some time, I opened the book and started reading.

My first reaction: I have not been reading enough to my kids!

Yes, I read them books. We read a little before they go to bed, but usually only about 10 minutes or so (I'm usually anxious to put them down for the night so I can get things done). Sometimes, I'll sit and read books to them during the day, but not every single day. One of my problems is that I'm often so tired that the minute I sit down on the sofa to read a book to the kids, I fall asleep. I've been a casual read-aloud mom, at best. However, after reading The Read-Aloud Handbook, I realized that I wanted to read to them much, much more. The book is packed with encouraging statistics about the benefits of early exposure to books. It explains that those children who are immersed in more books receive some amazing benefits. They outperform those children with limited reading exposure in many areas, including vocabulary, reading comprehension, attention span, grammar, writing and spelling. The list goes on and on. The more I read, the more excited I got about increasing the reading in our home. It also got me thinking differently about some of my long-held ideas and philosophies about my bilingual parenting methods and inspired me to make some changes.

Here are some of the changes that I'm about to implement (and I've already started some of them):

1. We're going to read a LOT more English books.
2. We're going to read more German books.
3. We're going to spend more time discussing English and German books in both English and German.

So why would we want to read more English (majority language) books, when I'm trying so hard to push German (minority language)?

Well, there are several compelling reasons. The first being that my children live in an English speaking country and will need to have a good grasp of the English language. They will go to school in English. They will take their college entrance exams in English. And, yes, even though we are teaching them German, they will live most of their lives in English. My philosophy, up to this point, was to just let the "English" happen on its own....which it did (to a certain degree), while we pushed German at home. I tried very hard to limit our reading to German books so that we could foster the children's German language development amid the pervasive English influence. I knew that unless we kept our home a German-speaking refuge, that the English would infiltrate and eventually overpower our German bilingual efforts. And, I know from experience, that once the majority language (English) becomes a comfortable conversational language among family members, that the minority language (German) will be spoken less and less until it's hardly used at all. 

However, as mentioned in a previous post:  Books Are Boundaries , I have discovered that reading English books does not affect our conversational use of German at home. Because a book is a clear language boundary, we are able to open the book, read (and even discuss) a book in English, close the book and then we naturally switch right back into German. It's a fascinating phenomenon. And because of this, I figure that we can spend much more time reading English books and reaping the benefits of improving the children's English language skills without it affecting our goal to have a German-speaking home.

What about German Books?

Of course, I want to continue to read a lot in German. And as we increase the amount of overall time we spend reading books, we will read more German books than we did previously. My goal is to have the children be literate in both English and German. I want their vocabularies to grow. I want them to understand more complex German sentence structures than what we usually use at home. I want them to be able to read and write in German and I feel like exposing them to lots German books will aide this process tremendously. So, yes, we will continue to read lots of German books. However, that said, the kids' English language skills will most likely play a much larger role in their lives than their German language skills, which is why we will no longer be reading exclusively German books.

Why discussing books is crucial in both languages

Because the children are more comfortable communicating in German, most of our book discussion tends to be in German--even when reading English books. It's crucial to spend time discussing books, especially when you're raising children to speak more than one language. As we read books, I'm able to ask questions about the story in either language. This way, I can check the kids' comprehension of the story in both languages. Sometimes, I ask in English and they answer in German. Other times, when discussing an English book, the discussion is all in English, and other times, it is all in German. The nice thing is that the book allows us to "break" our regular language rules and use whatever language we choose. As we read books in both languages and discuss them in both languages, we are able to translate words, talk about the different syntax in each language and even discuss cultural differences that come up in some books. 

I've always loved books. And, like I said before, I have been reading to my children their whole lives. But until recently, I feel like I've been underestimating and under-appreciating the power of books in helping my children to become truly literate in both languages. It took a book (The Read-Aloud Handbook), to really light the fire and to help me take reading to the next level. It took a recent discovery--that books are language boundaries--to open up my mind to the idea of reading to my children in English (the majority language). And both of these ideas together have been a positive "game changer" in our non-native bilingual parenting methods. I'm anxious to see where these new ideas will take us.

I've ordered a huge pile of books from our local library, all taken from the excellent anthology of great read-aloud books, which is included in The Read-Aloud Handbook. I recognize many of them from my childhood, but I had not thought to check them out for my own (German speaking) children until now. It's been fun to rediscover old books and enjoy new books. As much as I love our German books, it's been liberating to open our home to the world of English books...because, really, there is just no other way to read Dr. Suess!

Thanks, Stacey, for the book and your inspirational example!

Chester, the dog, speaks German!!

I took this little video as the little twins were riding our horse down to the bus stop to meet their 1st grade brother, Jonathan, when he got off the bus. I have to apologize for the noise (horse hooves on gravel is loud) and for the terrible bounciness of the video (I was walking backwards while leading the horse and holding the camera in my left hand). Anyways, the reason for posting this video (besides it being so cute), is that I thought it was funny how up to this point, the kids had been addressing the dog, Chester, in English. All the big people addressed Chester in English, so it was just natural that they also addressed him in English. I'm sure they just figured that the dog only knew English. Anyways, as we're riding along, Simon keeps calling to the dog (who never obeys anyone--ever) in English, and of course, the dog was not coming. So, I told Simon that Chester only spoke German. And, just my luck, the minute Simon calls out to him in German, Chester pops out of the bushes. The kids are delighted with the new discovery that their dog speaks German. And the rest of the ride, they continue to call out to him in German. Since then (and this was about a week ago), I have noticed them addressing Chester in German much more frequently.

Bilingual Bedtime Stories - Books are Boundaries

At night, we gather the little ones for their nighttime routine of bedtime stories. We always read a scripture story first. My favorite scripture stories are from the Kinderbibel by Anne DeVries. 

 

The children are enthralled by these bible stories and they are perfect for reading aloud. Even the older siblings enjoy reading the stories to the kids. The older kids love them because I read the very same stories to them when they were little.

What I find linguistically interesting is how the children have drawn their language boundaries when it comes to books. We have mostly German children's books, but we also own quite a few English books. At first, I didn't want to read the English books to them, for fear that it would "contaminate" our German speaking home (ML@H). I worried that if I started reading English books, that the kids would then start communicating with each other in English. They would hear me reading in English and would assume that English is an OK language use at home. And I know from experience, that once they switch to English as their main communication language, the German becomes more and more obsolete.

Well, it turns out that books are in and of themselves a language boundary. They are a controlled exception to the rule. The book is a boundary or barrier which contains the English and prevents the English from seeping out and contaminating our German speaking home. The book gives us the license to use English and still makes it natural to switch (code switch) back to German when we close the book. It's quite amazing. 

In the video, I start out by reading a German bible story. The children ask questions and make comments about the story in German. I then pick up an English children's book. As I read in English, the kids participate in the "wishy washy weeeee" (English) part of the book. But they tend to make their comments and ask their questions in German. There is even a point, when I ask a question about the book in English and Jonathan answers in German. The kids understand where the language boundaries are and they understand when it's acceptable or "normal" to speak English and when it's acceptable or "normal" to speak German. 

I am amazed at the effectiveness of establishing language boundaries and rules and then sticking to them. The children will always use the language that feels more natural to them. If they have always used the target language (in our case, German) in a given situation, then it would feel unnatural for them to use the community language (English) in that same situation. But if you break the rule for them, then they will naturally follow and that will open the proverbial floodgates of the community language that you have been trying so hard to keep in check while you focus on the target language. 

Is French Feasible or Futile? Thoughts of Trilingualism

With our older children, we tried introducing French a few times. I checked out some French audio tapes from the library and I had a few French children's books that we would read now and then. Why French? Well, my sweet husband speaks French. He served a two year mission in France for our church when he was 19. I took two years of French in high school. I also took a few semesters in college. I am NOT fluent. I can understand basic words and grammar. I can say things like "Je m'apelle Nina." I think if I studied it again that a lot would come back to me. But since I haven't tried to keep it up, I have forgotten almost all of my French.

Anyways, so why am I blogging about French? Well, I am somehow convinced that I could give my kids the equivalent of two or three years of high school French. I don't expect them to become fluent or to speak native-like. However, I do believe that they have the potential to acquire much better pronunciation if we start at a young age than they would if we waited to introduce the language until they were teenagers. What are other reasons why I might want to introduce French? Well, why not?? I can speak some French, so why not pass what I know on to my kids. In fact, I can learn right along with them.

How do plan on doing this? Well, I'm not exactly sure yet. I've been showing them French children's videos since they were little. I have French apps on our phones and tablets, which the kids love to play. We have some French books and a daddy that speaks some French. I think that is enough to get started.

I have been mulling the whole French thing over in my head for a year or two. I realized that if I really want to push French, that I will probably end up pulling my kids out of school part time, because there just isn't enough time after school to really learn a language. I have some awesome ideas about that, but that will have to wait for a later blog post. All I know, is that I want start soon. They are at an age where they are just soaking so much up. I don't want to miss this precious developmental stage in their lives.

I find myself searching the internet often for any French material I can find. I'm also looking for a fun children's French curriculum that we can use. I'd prefer one designed for native German speakers who are learning French. If anyone has any ideas or recommendations, please share them in the comment section below.

As you can see in the video below, the kids already are enjoying French. They are fascinated by it. Being bilingual, they understand the concept of different languages and that there are different ways to express yourself. So, I think their little minds are very open to the idea of a third language. Maybe we'll start something like "French Fridays" and use that day to really focus on French. I'm getting super excited about the whole French thing. There is so much technology available to help me out. See my Technology Post.

The video shows the kids watching a cute French YouTube video. They had been playing outside in the pool. When they came in, I had it playing. They were sucked into it and didn't go back outside. I loved that they immediately started imitating the words and sounds. They thought it was neat that the French alphabet sounded more like the German alphabet. As I watched them, I realized that I need to continue to feed them French. I'm excited to find out where we'll end up on this new linguistic venture.

Language Learning During Everyday Living

So, the other day, my little 6 year old Jonathan was working on emptying the dishwasher. It was his job that morning. He's my little analytical engineer. He loves to figure out how things work. Anyways, as he was emptying the dishwasher, I noticed that he kept stacking the clean dishes in ascending or descending towers. He would take the items out of the dishwasher, line them up in order of size and then he would analyze his work. Then I  noticed that he was working on comparative and superlative adjectives in German. He would start on one end and say: "Biggest, bigger, big..." I pulled out my phone camera because he was just being so cute about it.
I was impressed with his desire to really learn the correct words. He got them a little mixed up at first, but I could tell that he really wanted to get it right. It was fun to see the little gears turning in his head as he put the words together with the meanings.
As I watched him, it occurred to me that this kind of learning is "real" learning. Of course, it's something that you could also learn from a textbook in German class, but this was just a little more "real". I thought about how I had at one time considered sending the kids to the local German/American private school. I didn't send them because, firstly, it was way too expensive and, secondly, I felt like I could give them just as much or even more German at home with me. These kinds of experiences also continue to persuade me to consider some sort of homeschooling. I get glimpses of the fun learning environment that we can create in our home and I also get excited about having my sweet babies with me all day long and watching them learn, grow and develop. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do as far as schooling goes, but we will, for sure, continue to speak, teach and learn German at home--for as long as we can.

Home Language Boundaries: How our family uses German and English side-by-side

I came across the following video and thought that it did a great job of portraying the typical language use in our bilingual family. It really shows how both English and German are usually used in our family. In the video, the big and little kids are decorating our Easter egg tree together.



It's very apparent in the video that the little kids speak almost only German to us and to each other. The little kids hardly ever use English in a family setting. They are much more comfortable with German. It's their "family language". The big kids (including me) speak English to each other and German to the little ones. The little kids are not phased at all that we speak English to each other. Surprisingly, our English usage has not, in the least, affected their choice to speak only German. I've often wondered about this. I've always been amazed that they have heard English spoken their whole lives, yet, until last year (when Jonathan started Kindergarten), the three little ones could hardly speak any English. They hear English in the community, when we're shopping, at church, when friends come over, etc....yet, they still speak only German to each other and to us. This amazes me. I think that this attests to the importance of having boundaries and really sticking to them. When the boundaries are well defined and when you rarely break the "rules", it is so much easier to foster bilingualism. I know this, because with my first batch of kids, I broke the rules much more often. I had been told by a "professional" that because I was not native German, that if I spoke only German to my children that they would have problems learning either language well. This "professional" told me that they would not have "any" native language. That made me nervous, so I started speaking more English to my older children when they were still young. I still continued with the German, but I often switched to English. Because of that, they started speaking mostly English years ahead of my second batch of kids. With our second batch of kids, I came into this whole bilingual parenting adventure with much more experience and confidence. I knew that the kids would learn English just fine on their own. Their English would not suffer (in the long run). Knowing this has helped me to stick with our rules and has given me the confidence to plow ahead with our non-native bilingual parenting adventure.